Words: And still the water falls I run around here You couldn’t have it all And still it’s on my mind So what about me You couldn’t change it all
Within the last few sentences True love will shine apart
Well I don’t care no more And what do I see You couldn’t ever care It’s all another tree But I am not free While you could chose it all And you’re still not to call So what about me When you say you’ll be gone
Within the last few sentences True love will shine apart
Within the last two sentences Well I completely fell apart Within the last two sentences And with so many things to write I kept it all inside It’s the last two sentences It’s the last few seconds left
I’ll be appearing on two collaboration projects on different channels soon. One is a song C-van Yihye סיון יחיה and I recorded when she visited me recently and will be released on her youtube channel…
… and the other one’s gonna be released on Arno Ceres youtube channel! Watch out!
you might won’t believe how much I understand this. I’ve been in this mood since november last year - that’s why I have barely uploaded any videos in that peroid. At the moment it feels like it’s getting better and I’m about to come back, but I remember I’ve had the same feeling several times during this process - so I still have to be careful. I’ve been thinking a lot about it and did lots of research… And I found out that lots of artists seem to have the same problems at the moment. Even Jack Conte posted something recently.
What seems to help me a lot at the moment is trying to remember why I started doing this in the first place. The answer is: because it makes me feel good. Because it’s the best way to let out what’s inside of me. I remember that I always used to say “in the first place I’m doing this for myself. And in the second it’s great if other people like it, too. But that’s less important.” Now with all the recognition I get on youtube there’s this pressure coming up. How can I improve to keep my audience satisfied? Why don’t I gain more views and subscribers like other youtube musicians do? All thoughts like that. I guess in some way the creators camp made it even worse… because it was all about “improve your content to GAIN MORE ATTENTION”. All these thoughts took over. And I guess that’s the worst thing to happen to an artist. That’s just one point.
Another point: Jack for example wrote how he’s getting crazy about trying to write “the perfect song”. I felt the same way. I felt like I’m one of the worst musicians I know. So it’s also a lot about taste I guess. Artists usually have a very good taste and a lot of their inspiration comes from what they see from artists they love. And it’s very hard to get to the same level of your “idols”. I sometimes even think it’s almost impossible because the better you get, the finer your taste will be… so it’s kinda always ahead your skills. That’s why it’s even more important for me to remember why I’m doing this in the first place. And I forgot about it in a way that I even lost the connection to my own music! I couldn’t feel what I was playing and I completely forgot all I ever loved about kaming music was just that! Being able to create sounds out of my feelings and thoughts.
I think becoming clear about these two points was a very important step for me to understand what’s going on inside my head (just saying because you wrote that you don’t understand yourself at the moment). Because now there’s something I can try to change. Still it’s not gone. All my doubts and the discouragment is still around, trying to keep me away from what I love to do.
But as other artists have been in such situations a lot and also have been thinking about how to get rid of it, there’s a lot of advise for people like us out there. A very helpful thing for me is to just sit down and try to do something bad. write a bad song. Don’t even intend uploading it or make it something big. Just get your fingers working again. Get the connections inside your head to boot up again. Feel. It’s not easy to tell your evil thoughts to shut up, but it’s possible. So I’m making small steps each day and hey! I’ve even uploaded a cool song just a week ago! Now no pressure about the next one. Just feel…
RIP MCA
DxDutch: “Yay, finally received Ein Astronaut’s album “Galaxy” in the mail, thank you Eike! :D I love it :)”
-awww that’s so sweet :-)
Kill. For those of you who might have mist my last night’s post.
Just wanted to know if the Cassette tape can be delivered to the uk?
